


Shared Memories

by theundeadsiren (rhoen)



Series: March 2015 [6]
Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 02:31:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3833674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/theundeadsiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's something Kieren hides from Rick, and Rick can't help but wonder what it is and why Kieren keeps it from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shared Memories

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second of ten fics I wrote last month. Thank you to [you-think-youre-well-cool](http://you-think-youre-well-cool.tumblr.com/) for kindly reading over it for me.
> 
> (First posted 12/03/15)

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Thank you for respecting my wishes

* * *

 

He hadn't meant to look - not really. Somehow, though, curiosity got the better of him, and as Kieren headed downstairs and see what his dad was calling him for, Rick found himself gravitating towards the A3 scrapbook he'd so often seen Kieren nudge out of sight or out of the way when they were in Kieren's room together. Usually, it was out of sight, but occasionally when Rick come round and it was clear that Kieren hadn't had time to hide whatever it was, and would try to move it when Rick wasn't looking, or dump something on top of it to hide it. Today had been one of those days, and the scrapbook was sitting on the desk, barely concealed by some handouts Kieren had gotten in class.  
  
Rick's fingers traced over the visible spine of the scrapbook, torn as he stood there. He could hear Kieren and his dad talking downstairs, and knew that he could satisfy his own curiosity if he wanted to: Kieren would never know. But Rick couldn't do that. No matter how much he wanted to know, he couldn't look through his best friend's things - especially not something he knew Kieren wanted to keep hidden.  
  
He'd look at just the cover, he decided as he pushed the handouts from on top of it. It revealed a plain, unremarkable cover that was devoid of any clues as to what rested between the pages - pages that were pushed apart by paperclips that secured items to what looked like every page. Fingers now tracing over the edges and feeling the contrast between smooth paperclips and rough paper, Rick noticed that the scrapbook was about three quarters full, some pages unused and waiting for... whatever it was Kieren filled them with. And Rick wished he knew what that was. What was it Kieren would keep from him? Rick had thought that there were no secrets between them, but this...  
  
No matter how much he wished he could say he'd been a better person and left it alone, Rick couldn't. He hadn't. The selfish need to know had made him turn the cover, opening the scrapbook on a random page, and on something it took him a minute to comprehend.  _What's there to hide?_ , was the first thing Rick found himself thinking, before he frowned at what he was seeing. He couldn't understand why Kieren kept this to himself. Carefully documented - through photos, notes they'd passed on scraps of paper, letters, tickets from bus and train journeys they'd been on, and entry stubs from places they'd visited together - was their friendship. Each page was filled with things that brought back memories, making Rick smile. His fingers brushed over the vivid colours of a large autumnal sycamore leaf fixed to one of the pages - the leaf Rick had spent minutes tormenting Kieren with after it landed in his hair, waving it right in Kieren's face, before giving it to him with words Rick could suddenly remember. It wouldn't matter if he'd forgotten - Kieren had neatly recorded them next to the leaf:  _Here, for you. It's too pretty to belong to me._  
  
All these things - all these moments between them - Kieren had carefully and neatly recorded in such a dedicated, almost reverent way, and Rick's eyes widened as it started to dawn on him why why Kieren had wanted to keep this from him. The pages were full of so many memories they both shared, but he was starting to realise that there was something in the way Kieren clearly treasured every moment that spoke of something deeper than just friendship.  
  
Realising he wasn't alone anymore, Rick jumped, startled. Kieren stood in the doorway, watching him, his expression one of defeat. Rick quickly shut the scrapbook, before he could get out an apology, causing several things to fall free, and he hurriedly dropped to his knees, picking them up, tripping over his own words to apologise. "I'm sorry, Ren, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I just... I saw it, and I was curious, and I know I shouldn't have, I'm so sorry, I'll put it all back, here..."  
  
Being caught prying felt awful, and Rick hated himself. He wanted to kick himself as he rambled, turning back to the scrapbook with the items he'd picked up. In the time it had taken him, Kieren moved towards Rick, holding his hand out and taking the items, saying nothing. Rick handed them over obediently, watching helplessly as Kieren started shifting through the scrapbook and replacing each scrap of paper and photograph where it belonged, fitting them back into the friendship they'd shared and no longer seeming to care that Rick could see this part of him he'd tried to keep hidden. Rick hadn't seen all the pages. There were so many, so carefully put together, and it made something in him ache uncomfortably.  
  
Done, Kieren looked up at Rick, his expression painfully sad and overshadowed by resignation. Not only had Rick invaded his privacy, he'd seen something Kieren hadn't wanted to share. Rick know knew: he understood that their friendship meant more to Kieren than Rick had ever imagined it could. Kieren's feeling for him ran deeper than what you were supposed to feel for your best friend.  
  
Rick didn't know what to do with that realisation. He didn't know what to say. Kieren wasn't trying to brush it off and act as if it was a minor thing to him, and nor was he having a go at Rick for being such a shit friend and looking through his things.  
  
As his mind raced, Rick heard himself speak, excusing himself from a situation he felt helpless to fix.  
  
"I... I left something at my place," he stuttered, starting to move away and breaking eye contact as he gathered his things.  
  
What really hurt was the fact Kieren didn't even speak to try and stop him.  
  
-  
  
It took an hour and a half before Rick found himself back on the Walkers' doorstep and ringing the bell - mostly because he was a complete and utter idiot, but also because it had started to rain a few paces from his doorstep, so he'd had to go back in and fetch a plastic bag to protect what he was now carrying. Standing waiting, he could hear the music from Kieren's room thudding out into the damp evening air, and it was Sue who let him in without question.  
  
"I forgot something," he offered by way of explanation he didn't even need to give, before taking off his shoes and jacket and heading upstairs. When he'd left earlier, it had just been an excuse, but Rick was glad he'd decided to turn it into more than just that. There was something he could show Kieren, and it wouldn't make up for what Rick had done, but it would hopefully go some way to righting the wrong.  
  
The nervousness Rick had felt ever since the moment he'd worked out Kieren liked him more than a friend hadn't eased. The whole thing was so bizarre and alien to him, and he'd spent forever in his room fretting about it, and about what to do, before it dawned on him that things didn't have to change. They could still be friends. He  _wanted_ them to still be friends. So he stood there, outside Kieren's room, knocking at a volume he hoped was loud enough to be heard over the music.  
  
If it was, Kieren didn't respond, and after a second time, Rick pushed the door open slowly, peering in. Kieren was lying on his bed, curled up with his back to the door, music blaring from the CD player. If it weren't for the volume of the music, he could even be asleep.  
  
"Ren?" Rick called, stepping into the room and hoping for a response. It was a subtle one, but he saw Kieren stiffen, before he slowly sat up, turning towards Rick. It was clear he had been crying - his eyes and lips were puffy and Ren, his face pale and drawn. He looked so miserable that Rick just shut the door behind him as he moved closer.  
  
"I shoulda brought tissues," he said with an attempt at a smile, trying to find a way in to make Kieren feel better; less alone. He looked lonely. Rick hated that.  
  
Kieren looked questioningly at the still-wrapped item in Rick's arm, but didn't ask about it. Instead, he found more cutting words that put Rick back in his place.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
The tone hit him just as harshly as the words did, and Rick swallowed hard, almost physically taking a step back as the words cut through him. Afraid of the distance he could sense growing between them, Rick pushed his feelings aside and tried to reach out.  
  
"Can I sit?"  
  
Kieren's only response was to look away, sniffing. It took a few moments before Rick made the decision himself, crossing to the bed and sitting down, focusing on taking the bag off of the shoebox he was carrying. It was only when Kieren deliberately moved away, curling in on himself, that Rick looked up at him, now making an effort not to hide his emotions as he always did around everyone else. He didn't understand how or why Kieren liked him, but their friendship was too good a thing to throw away for... anything. He didn't want to hide anything from Kieren. He felt at home by his side, and no one else knew Rick like Kieren did. No one else made him feel as accepted. If Kieren actually fancied him... they could work with that.  
  
"Um..." his hands were working at the lid of the box, opening it. Rick sighed, looking down at the contents, before turning back to Kieren. "I thought we could work on your scrapbook together?"  
  
He watched Ren's reaction, the nervous knot in his stomach easing and a smile growing on his lips as Ren's expression changed as he looked at what Rick had brought, understanding the gesture. The box was something Rick kept hidden - there was no way he could openly display anything of his friendship with Kieren in his room - but he kept it all the same: a shoebox crammed full of photographs, letters they'd exchanged, a few scraps of notes they'd passed between each other, tickets from buses and trains they'd been on together, and entrance tickets to places they'd been - his own box of memories from a friendship that meant the world to him.


End file.
